Blogging is therapy. There's something about writing whatever's on your heart and knowing that no one might ever read it... except for my favorite creeper ;-)
So I'm going to be very honest. Motherhood is BY FAR the hardest job on earth. I will never understand how such little people can take you to the brink of a meltdown and then melt your heart. Eliza hasn't been feeling well lately and has hit her terrible 2's about 6 months early. So when she rolled around pitching her fit and banging her head tonight, I fell apart. Tears of frustration, tears of exhaustion, tears of "this is going to be worse when I try and give her medicine later." She then walks over to see what my commotion is about and mumbles something and rubs my arm like it's going to be okay... and Ella scampers away, returning with a box of tissues for me. What's a mom to do? My nerves can only take so much but my heart overflows for them.
I carry such guilt for feeling like I could go away for weeks and not miss or be missed by anyone. Raising kids is so hard, so emotionally and mentally taxing.
I know that they grow so fast... and I don't want to wish their life away. But sometimes moments like tonight overshadow those sweet, memorable times.
So there, it's off my chest... and the chaos that is getting ready for the day is just about 7 hours away... :-)
Thank you Lord for my two beautiful girls. Help me to be a Godly mother and appreciate your blessings everyday, but remind me that I can't do it without your help.
Jess, you are a wonderful mother! Every mother feels the way you do at one time or another. Many days I feel all I do at my girls is yell and fuss. Parenthood is a very, very difficult job but you do it so well; don't doubt that. It will get easier...me surviving Claire's "phase" is living proof!
ReplyDeleteI think God had you write this just for me. I am in the same boat with you, sister. We will make it through. Keep looking up. Love you!
ReplyDeleteI completely understand!! My kids fight like cats and dogs, and whine, and argue, and generally drive me crazy. But in a second they will flip a switch and do something so sweet it makes me forget the bad. Part of being a good mom is dealing with the bad, and learning to enjoy the good for it is what gets us through each and every day! A good cry never hurts either.
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